Useful Work Phrases:

 

*  Thank you.  We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

 

*  The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

 

*  I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

 

*  Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

 

*  I have plenty of talent and vision.  I just don't give a damn.

 

*  I like you.  You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

 

*  What am I?  Flypaper for freaks!?

 

*  I'm not being rude.  You're just insignificant.

 

*  I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

 

*  I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

 

*  It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

 

*  Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

 

*  No, my powers can only be used for good.

 

*  How about never?  Is never good for you?

 

*  I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

 

*  You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

 

*  I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

 

*  I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

 

*  I don't work here.  I'm a consultant.

 

*  Who me?  I just wander from room to room.

 

*  My toys!  My toys!  I can't do this job without my toys!

 

*  It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

 

*  At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

 

*  You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

 

*  I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

 

*  Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.